One year in Korea has gone by surprisingly fast. Flash back to me, one year ago, at EPIK orientation: Look at that naive little girl in her wrinkled hanbok (which she is way too tall for), erroneously wearing her (regrettably short) hair down. She had no idea what was ahead. In honor of my one year anniversary of moving to Korea, here’s a bit of self-reflection: Mistakes I will not be making this year: Giving my students candy on any day except for Halloween. I did this last

“What do you mean, ‘the air is poison’?” I said. “We’re in Korea, not China.” Veronica shook her head and set down her fork on our makeshift “Christmas Dinner” table, aka a glass table that resembled a tongue on the floor of Nadea’s apartment. I got a sinking feeling in my gut, because Veronica always knew what she was talking about. She was exceptionally good at researching things, and had enlightened me on matters such as pensions (we apparently receive those in Korea, and

Text Conversation Over We Chat, 9:22PM Kylie: our bus leaves at 7:55, so let’s get there at 7:20. not sure how to get from the train stop to the bus terminal Weng-Ching: It says it’s just connected I think it’s the bus terminal I went to before It’s literally just there I’ll meet you at 7:40 Kylie: Dude no Weng-Ching: Trust me, you just get on Kylie: You’re gonna be late Weng-Ching: They won’t even let you on before that Kylie: I love you but you’re always late Weng-Ching: No

The food is easily my favorite thing about Korea. This will be shocking to hear for anyone who knows me at all. I’m the kind of person who eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, mac and cheese, and chicken nuggets on a regular basis. My friends used to joke that my sexual fantasies included swimming pools of chicken nuggets (no comment). Basically, I have the diet of a picky kindergartener. But I decided that when I came to Korea, whenever anyone asked me if I wanted to try

“You said you need to lose weight, right?” my date said between slurps of noodles. “I don’t think I said that.” “Oh.” He put down his noodles and went back to the chicken, unbothered. “You said something about how Korean girls are so skinny.” “Yes.” I poured myself more beer. “That doesn’t mean I need to lose weight.” “Oh.” He turned back to his food without comment and I conspicuously checked my watch for the tenth time. Things had started out well enough. After a disastrous

I spend a lot of my lesson-planning time laughing at the English textbook that I’m required to teach from. On more than one occasion, I’ve had to explain to my students that the textbook is wrong, so please ignore every single picture and video that teaches you this very incorrect English. I’m not sharing this to make fun of Korean people’s attempts at speaking English (God knows I could never make a Korean textbook). English is an incredibly hard language and even trying to

5:30AM: I’m a morning person, I tell myself. I like getting up early, I tell myself. Go be an early bird and catch some worms, I reason with myself. I let out a groan of misery and flop onto my back, count to three, and throw my limp body forward into a somewhat-upright position. Happy Wednesday, I think. 6:30AM: I’m wearing human clothes and sitting at my desk/kitchen table that I use to drop all my books because I don’t have a bookshelf, studying for the GRE. I’m on chapter

“Whatever they ask you to do, say yes.” This was the advice that one of the speakers gave us at EPIK orientation. Were you invited to a Tuesday-night work dinner where you’ll stay out late drinking soju and won’t understand anyone? Say yes. Did your principal ask you to teach after school classes and judge an English speaking contest? Say yes. Do your co-teachers want you to dress up as a bunch of grapes and perform an interpretive fruit dance for the new chapter on fruits? S

Half-Asians have a spider sense for other half-Asians. It’s hard to describe what, exactly, makes someone “look” half-Asian. I’ve met halfies with pale skin and dark skin, straight black hair and curly light-brown hair and everything in between. Yet, somehow, we can always find each other in a crowd. That’s why, when a skinny girl with long brown hair sat in the first row of my third-grade English class during my first week as a teacher, I knew she was like me. I did my intro

Very late PSA: I’m going to Seoul as an English teacher with EPIK next week… …and sometimes I wonder how I’m going to make friends with my elementary Korean skills. After all, so much of our personalities is conveyed through our words. As a writer and English teacher, the very foundation of my career is diction and syntax. It’s a skill that I’ve honed for my entire life and a tool that I use to convey the many shades of Kylie that I have to offer. A HUGE part of my personalit